


In The Daylight

by MissMew07



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Miscommunication, Not in that order tho lol, POV Alternating, POV Keith (Voltron), POV Lance (Voltron), Sex, She/Her Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:27:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28642947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMew07/pseuds/MissMew07
Summary: “What’s on your mind.”“You already know.” Because this is the reiteration of their talks.“Tell me anyway.”“Masochist.” Lance chuckles but it’s too weak and brittle.“Sadist.” Keith responds in kind. Lance thinks his words over and over before he takes a breath and they spill out.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 53
Kudos: 140





	1. Dusk

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter warnings:  
> This chapter is all angst but happiness to follow.  
> Tagged as DubCon because Lance is drinking at the start of the night even if he sobers up I felt it important to note.  
> Lance POV  
> Crying during sex? Crying during sex lmaoo

Lance just cannot seem to understand what is wrong with him. What is it that keeps making his partners literally ditch him? He’s alone, outside a club, after getting off the phone with someone who was supposed to be celebrating two months with him. 

Two months of nothing but torturous boredom it seems. Of him being too clingy, too loud, just too much. 

The call lasted less than five minutes and it left him feeling bitter and alone. 

He has no one to blame but himself though. He really should have seen this all coming. Their conversations weren’t the same anymore, they weren’t as deep. More often than not he was left on read and he was who always had to initiate it. Well, unless it was a quick message asking him if he was still up. The answer always being ‘yes’ since he changed his ringer to the loudest one so he could be available to talk if ever needed. 

Because he is a damn idiot who does this sort of thing even though no one asks him to. But it’s too much, he supposes. Too annoying, too expressive, too much. 

He takes a deep breath as he stands alone out in the cold. It’s Friday night and he refuses to let this heavy stone make his gut it's home.  _ Es Viernes y el cuerpo lo sabe _ , McClain, he tells himself. He can’t allow himself to start off his weekend all sad. 

So he summons the council. 

> BoiBloo: who wants to join me at The Blade tonight!? It’s one dollar well drinks night! 
> 
> Gremlin: Wait. I thought you said you had a date tonight?
> 
> BoiBloo: not anymore! 🙃
> 
> Hunky Dory: I am so sorry to hear that man. Do you need anything? 
> 
> BoiBloo: yeah actually! I need one dollar well drinks for me and my buds! i’ll cover the bill, drinks are on me!
> 
> Gremlin: Down. But can’t. 
> 
> Hunky Dory: Yeah, sorry Lance. Pidge and I are over at my place wrapping up a project that’s due Monday. 

Ugh, if Hunk and Pidge can’t join that usually means that Keith isn’t going to bother showing up either. Lance has never minded enjoying a comfortable silence with him but he knows that this sort of place just isn’t his style. Keith’s never been a fan of loud live music or smoke machines. 

He’d DM Keith and ask if he would be down to meet at a quiet bar instead, but Lance can feel an ache in his soul begging him to dance. So he is where he should be, where there are flashing lights and loud bass. 

> BoiBloo: darn you procrastinating geniuses! 
> 
> Hunky Dory: A big brain comes with a great price.😔 
> 
> Gremlin: So does having a big heart it seems. 
> 
> BoiBloo: awww, Pidge. you think I have a big heart? 
> 
> Gremlin: Well I don’t know it’s size or state of it after getting dumped for the second time this season.
> 
> Hunky Dory: Woah, Pidge. 
> 
> Gremlin: Look, Lance, we love you but-- 

But. There is always a ‘but’ to loving him huh? There can never be a “Lance, we love you  _ and _ .” 

We love you  _ and _ you’re loud. We love you  _ and _ you’re clingy. His quirks are taken as a nuisance, never a bonus. Maybe if he could just accept that he wouldn’t get as hurt each time he heard it. 

> Gremlin: --but you really do keep putting yourself in these situations. 
> 
> BoiBloo: uh yeah, these “situations” are called dates. people have them. they are rather enjoyable. 
> 
> Hunky Dory: Guys, please. 

Oh, he’s got to hear this. 

> BoiBloo: no, no, it’s fine, Hunk! i wanna hear what Pidge has to say. 
> 
> Gremlin: Lance, lower that defensive tone for a sec if you really want to listen to me. 

Oh ho ho! Right! Because Lance  _ never  _ snaps. He can never get defensive or not be on board with what is being said by little Einstein. Or stars forbid getting snappy when Hunk is a witness. No, no. Gotta watch his tone, words use, down to his punctuation and emojis.

Which leads him to close his eyes, press his phone’s screen firmly against his forehead, and take a deep breath. If he snaps he’ll regret it. If he gets snarky, he’ll want to take it back. He lets the breath out slowly and looks up at the neon sign with the name of the club. 

She’s not wrong. He does keep putting himself in these messes. But what would you expect from someone like him? Someone who falls in love so easily, so quickly. Or at least, someone who is very good at pretending. Because that’s all he’s been doing really. Pretending to be swept off his feet with his latest fling. Pretending he isn’t gravitating towards people with dark hair and a dangerous streak. Pretending he’s not seeking out Keith in the faces and arms of others. 

> BoiBloo: sorry! i meant to say go on, i wanna know what i’m doing wrong. 

Pidge is right. Having a big heart does come with its price. It’s easy to break and hard to fix. No matter how many times he’s done it the shards still hurt his palms and the glue takes eons to dry. The next person to hold it seems to like it even less than the previous one. 

What’s wrong with him? 

He’s aware that he can get very excited. How could he not? People are lovely and fun! They look amazing when they smile or laugh. How is he supposed to  _ not  _ want to compliment them? Biting his tongue has never helped. It has only ever made him laugh at everyone’s jokes and agree to their comments. It is a way of sharing fun and joy. 

So maybe he sometimes replies before really processing his words. Maybe sometimes the Spanish doesn’t quite translate all too well before his English is spilling out of his mouth. 

Yes, keeping his hands to himself can be torture but he’ll do it! He won’t initiate contact but the moment someone touches his arm his hands can’t help but search for theirs. 

He just wants to make others feel good. Make them happy and believe in themselves. Maybe if he could spread enough joy he’ll learn what it would be like to receive the same love. But the core of his problem is that you can’t exactly give what you don’t have. So perhaps his efforts feel empty and it’s why what he has to offer is never good enough. 

> BoiBloo: yeah, you’re right Pidge. 

Lance says without really processing her words. He simply skimmed through the unasked for advice. 

> Gremlin: I’m just being honest. 
> 
> Hunky Dory: And we thank you for your honesty. 
> 
> Hunky Dory: Look man, we both just want you to be happy. I do agree with Pidge though and think maybe you need to take a break from bouncing from date mate to date mate…
> 
> BoiBloo: yeah, well, we’ll see how that goes lol. 
> 
> MothBalls: This is why this chat stays muted. Guys my phone just buzzed so much in my pocket I think it overheated and burned a hole through my pants. 
> 
> Hunky Dory: Hey Keith! 
> 
> BoiBloo: ooo look who finally decided to join the council meeting. 
> 
> Gremlin: tHaT’s WhY tHiS cHaT StAyS mUtEd. Jerk! We’ve @ you for the past two days! 

Lance is grateful to have Keith jump in like this. It should be easier to shift the conversation elsewhere. He can trust the three of his buds to spam the chat with memes which he’ll be able to enjoy with his first few drinks of the night. 

> BoiBloo: well, i’m heading inside. 
> 
> Hunky Dory: Don’t hesitate to let us know if you need anything! 
> 
> Gremlin: Or call if you’re still up past midnight. Maybe we can catch you at the donut shop. 
> 
> Hunky Dory: Down! 
> 
> BoiBloo: we’ll have to see how drunk I am. 😅 
> 
> Hunky Dory: I’ll be sure to call you a ride then. 

Lance tucks his phone into his pocket as he slips inside. He wastes no time going up to the bar and getting himself a drink. Maybe two. Okay, he’s definitely had three by now and he’s feeling so much better. He’s in such a good mood that he throws himself out onto the dance floor. 

Being in the sea of drunk and sweaty bodies, following the waves of the music and the pulse of the beat is what soothes his jagged edges. Or at least it throws a heavy blanket over them. He can barely hear the lady clinging to his arm over the music. She smiles. It’s pretty. She throws her head back when she laughs at something he said. He’s not sure if it was even a joke. He’s in a state of semi-lucidness. He’s both aware and unaware of himself, the things he’s doing, and what he’s saying.

He needs another drink.

Not because he’s gaining consciousness fast. Why would it be? It’s just easier for him to have fun without the thoughts dragging him back down. Maybe his fourth drink will be the one to finish drowning out the words Pidge left on his screen. Maybe the fifth will be the one to make the ache in his heart disappear. Maybe the sixth will let him make terrible choices that he won’t care about in the morning. 

The magic number is seven actually. 

After Lance finishes off his seventh drink he finds himself with a stranger’s tongue down his throat and hands grabbing his ass. He feels exhilarated and free. This. This is how his weekend should be. This makes it easier to pretend he’s wanted. That he’s loved.

And then Lance is fully aware of eyes boring holes into his back. He breaks away from his wonderful stranger to glance over his shoulder. There stands Keith. His arms are crossed over his chest, jaw set tight, and thick brows pinched together over a pair of glaring eyes. Lance’s partner lets him go, misunderstanding Keith’s body language as a pissed lover. 

“I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for over an  _ hour _ .” Lance can hear him so clearly compared to everyone else before. “Here I was thinking I’d have to check for you in a ditch. Glad to see you’re just busy playing tonsil hockey.” Keith scoffs and shakes his head.

“Oops?” Lance chuckles and shuffles closer to Keith. “What are you doing here? Did the nerds send you to babysit me or somethin’?” He hums as he rests his hands over Keith’s crossed arms. Keith rolls his eyes and uncrosses his arms and pulls away. Right. Hands to yourself, Lancey Lance. 

“No, I went back and read the messages I missed...you offered dinner, didn’t you?” Keith watches as Lance dances and twirls around him, following the beat of the song playing. 

“Drinks, I offered  _ drinks _ . This is a nightclub darling, not a bar.” 

Keith reaches out for him and rests a hand on his waist. Lance can’t help giggling and resting his hands on his shoulders. He knows Keith wants to make sure he doesn’t trip over his own feet but he can’t keep himself still. 

“Lance,” Keith says softly and frowns. 

“Yeeeees?” Lance smiles up at him. 

“Why don’t we go home?” 

“My place or yours?~” Lance leans in closer and murmurs against his ear. 

“Lance.” Keith scolds. Lance knows just how this goes. He’s going to willingly follow Keith out of this club and then they’re going to sit out at a park while Lance cries his eyes out and Keith pats his back. This is how it has been after every breakup that Hunk hasn’t been available for. Because when it comes to choosing between getting shitfaced or talking about his feelings, Lance can’t seem to swallow his emotions down. And on top of it all, Lance will always choose to follow Keith. 

He’s not even sure why. Well, he does, but his drunken brain refuses to acknowledge that right now. Yeah, no, he’s not deeply and madly in love with his friend. No, sir! He doesn’t fall asleep thinking about those indigo eyes nor does wake up wanting to shoot him a quick message. Lance most  _ certainly  _ does not refuse to pursue these feelings because he is terrified of a romantic relationship with Keith ending like all his others. Going up in flames and being nothing but ashes left of what they once were before. 

“One more dance.” 

“Lance.” 

“Please.” He frowns and combs his fingers through the back of Keith’s hair. 

“Fine,” Keith sighs and is about to pull away but stops when Lance’s pinky finger hooks with his. 

Keith looks down at him and Lance stares at the floor. Keith sighs softly and wraps an arm around Lance’s waist his other hand gently tracing up his sleeve. 

While the sigh eats at Lance it’s easy to ignore when Keith guides him back to the dance floor. It’s a slower song. Nothing at all like the hard beats from the start of the night. There’s plenty of space for the two to maneuver around as well. Keith does his best to match the steps Lance guides him through for the song, his arms draping around Keith’s shoulders. 

Perhaps it’s selfish, but he can pretend like this. Pretend that they’re the ones celebrating many long months happily together. Pretend that this is their normal Friday date night. Pretend that Keith loves him back.

It’s easy too. Keith holds him like spun glass on the edge of shattering under his hands. His glances between their feet moving, then up to Lance with a hint of nervousness hidden under the amusement, and Keith’s shy smile warms his entire body. 

Keith relaxes and Lance falls a bit further.

* * *

The song ends far too soon. Lance isn’t ready to let go of his pretend life yet, but Keith is gently pulling him off the floor once again. Lance reaches out and takes his hand as they start to move through thicker crowds to leave the building. Keith tightens his grip, a reassuring squeeze, that he wishes meant more than it does.

He hates this.

His teeth chatter in the cold of the outside world. He regrets not bringing a jacket. He doesn’t even get to complain before he feels a warm weight drape over his shoulders and back. He looks down and finds Keith’s jacket wrapped around him. 

“Thanks,” Lance murmurs.

“This way.” Keith guides him towards the back of the building. 

Lance follows, fingers curling around the edges of Keith’s jacket. How is he  _ not  _ supposed to fall for him? 

“Keith…” His mind is still swimming through the intoxication.

“Hmm?” Keith doesn’t even glance back at him. 

“I think…”  _ Abort! Abort! Now is not the time for another failed confession! _

“Are you going to be sick?” He turns to Lance and stops walking for a second. Lance begs his mind to run with that instead. 

“No,” Lance says. Keith gives him a look he can’t decipher right now. Too many layers wrapped up in it.

“You’re gonna ride in front of me, I can’t trust you won’t fall off in the back.” He gestures to his bike.

“Reverse cowboy. I like it.” Lance laughs and marvels at how handsome Keith looks with a blush dusting his cheekbones. 

“That’s not -- Ugh!” 

Lance straddles Keith’s motorcycle and Keith gets on right behind him. He can feel the weight of Keith’s chest pressing against his back. He can pretend. 

* * *

Keith pulls into the parking lot of an all too familiar park, cutting the engine and getting off first to help Lance down. They sit on the park bench not too far away, overlooking the city sprawling out beneath them. The sky is clear, stars bright, and he wishes that this private spot of theirs became a more intimate spot. A date spot. 

He hates his heart.

Keith is silent next to him. Lance glances over and drinks in the sight of Keith in the yellowed park lights. Only he could still look beautiful in the worst lighting. 

Lance hums a soft tune to himself and slowly sways in his seat. It’s one he’s heard blasting from Keith’s room when it’s chore and laundry day. His brain can’t recall the lyrics but it can surely remember the sight of Keith singing the words to himself, reading the back of the CD case for what must have been the thousandth time. What Lance would give to be allowed to wrap his arms around Keith at intimate moments like that. 

He’s pulled away from his thoughts when he feels Keith’s side press against him and his arm drapes around his shoulders. Lance giggles softly and smiles up at him. 

“What’s wrong?” Keith asks softly. 

“Wrong? Nothing’s wrong!” Lance throws his head back and laughs, “Does it seem like something’s wrong?” He hums and continues to dance to the songs and beats swimming in the back of his mind. 

“Lance…” Keith reaches for the hand in his lap and Lance gasps softly when his fingers gently hold his. It’s like a thorn bursting a bubble at a gorgeous garden party. Just like that does his pretending crumble and so does his heart. 

Lance bites down on his tongue and lets out a shaky breath when his fingers tighten their hold on Keith’s. 

“What’s wrong?” Keith asks again. 

“You know.” Lance tries to keep his voice steady. 

“If I did I wouldn’t be asking.” 

“I...have feelings for you.” Lance swallows back the knot quickly forming at the base of his throat. 

“We’ve talked about this.” Keith says softly, “You’re who said --” 

“Well, you make it hard to forget you, with you showing up like a  _ fucking  _ knight in shining armor each and every time.” 

“ _ Someone _ has to.” 

“And it just has to be  _ you _ ?” Lance scoffs and looks up at Keith. 

“As long as you need it to be.” 

“You’re confusing.” 

“Look who’s talking.” Keith looks down at their interlaced fingers. Lance’s bottom lip wobbles but he doesn’t dare allow open the dams. A part of him wishes they never talked about this that one night many months ago. A part that wants to cling to ignorant bliss. 

“Lance, you know I’d give you anything…”

“But not that. I know.” Lance feels like he’s freezing despite the jacket around him. 

The silence that falls is heavy with words, both the ghosts of talks in the past and the ones they still refuse to say aloud. Lance tries to keep his breath steady. If it’s steady he won’t burst into tears. If it’s steady he won’t fall apart. But everything presses down on him from all angles it can. His jagged edges become exposed and ever sharper. 

“Am I too much?” He whispers.

“Of a good thing?” Keith responds automatically. Lance scoffs and shakes his head.

“I’m too much aren’t I? That’s why you don’t want to date me. Because I know I can’t keep a relationship together and it’d destroy our friendship.”

“We’ve talked about this Lance.”

“I  _ know _ !” He wants to throw his hands up and scream at the night sky.

“We made this choice  _ together _ .”

“I know…” His breath catches in his throat, his chest heaving with the start of a sob. Keith stares at him, face pinched and twisted into something Lance doesn’t want to process. It leaves him feeling raw and overexposed. 

“Your relationships aren’t stable and I don’t stay friends with exes,” Keith says, the echoes of every talk they’ve had layering on top of it. 

“M-Maybe I wouldn’t be an ex! You don’t know!” Hysteria is getting to him, easily threading through his ribs with the alcohol in his veins. 

“We agreed to not do this.” Keith reminds him.

“Well, maybe we were stupid!”

“Lance.” This conversation hurts. It hurts him. It hurts Keith. And they just keep going in circles. Lance covers his face with his hands, curling over his legs while his body shakes. 

Keith runs his hand over Lance’s back until he’s calmed back down. 

“Let’s get you home. It’s late.”

“I don’t want to go home.” Lance sighs. His body is exhausted but his mind keeps turning.

“Well, you can’t stay here.”

“I don’t want to go home.” He repeats. Keith hums.

“We can text Hunk and Pidge, see if they’re still up, and take you to the donut place?”

“I want to be with you, not them.” Lance runs his hand over his face. Keith is silent for a few moments before he sighs and gets up. 

“Then my place.” Keith offers his hand to Lance and he gladly takes it. 

“Okay.” He nods. 

“Okay,” Keith repeats and pulls him along, walking back to his bike. 

Lance still rides in front of Keith, though he’s sobering up enough that he didn’t need to. But Keith worries and Lance loves and hates it. 

Keith’s place is a small little home surrounded by sand and desert plants reaching out for any water it can find. The ramp up to his front door sounds as hollow as ever and Lance’s eyes find the old wheelchair tucked into the corner gathering dust. He wonders if Keith will ever be able to get rid of it or be unable to let go of one of the last things he has of his dad. 

Keith heads straight to the bathroom while Lance stands in Keith’s bedroom. He hears the water of the shower turn on. He knows that’s where Keith does all his thinking and brooding, under the spray of scalding water. Lance doesn’t blame him. He focuses on digging through his appointed drawer.

He ends up here so often Keith has finally tucked all his things into one place. He grabs his sleep pants and the shirt Keith lends him whenever he’s over. He’s changed into them and crawls into the bed and buries himself under the blankets. Unfortunately, he is not as asleep as he had hoped he’d be when the shower turns off. He hears Keith’s light footsteps moving from the bathroom to the kitchen and back into his bedroom. 

“Here.” Is his warning before a cold bottle is pressed against the back of his neck. Lance yelps and rolls over with a pout. He takes the water bottle from Keith and sits up. 

Keith nods in approval as he starts sipping from it. He moves back to his bathroom and starts drying his hair. Lance paces himself with the water and sets it aside when he’s had enough. He lays back under the covers and can feel the dip of the bed under Keith’s weight. Lance knows he’s on the edge of the mattress, giving him as much space as possible. 

It only makes Lance feel awful and it’s clear that the alcohol has run its course, leaving him painfully sober. He’s selfish. He wants more. Why can’t this be enough? Why does his heart want to ruin his life? His body  _ aches _ for Keith and his touch and -- Lance drags his hands along his face. Best to stop that train of thought for now. 

He doesn’t even know how to ask or where the line is. Keith says he’d give him everything. Would asking for more be taking advantage of him or appreciating all he does for him? Maybe he’s tired of asking. He wishes all Keith offered was born from him instead. His mind won’t stop, his brain churning everything around.

“Your thoughts are too loud.” Keith murmurs, sleep clinging to the edge of his voice as he wraps an arm around Lance’s waist and pulls him back against his chest. 

“Is that so?” He asks, leaning back into Keith’s hold. 

“Yeah. It’s keeping me up.” 

“I’ll try to think softer.” 

“Tell me.” Lance can feel the brush of Keith’s lips against his shoulder. 

“Tell you what?”

“What’s on your mind.”

“You already know.” Because this is the reiteration of their talks.

“Tell me anyway.” 

“Masochist.” Lance chuckles but it’s too weak and brittle.

“Sadist,” Keith responds in kind. Lance thinks his words over and over before he takes a breath and they spill out.

“Can we just… pretend?” He asks so softly he’s not even sure if Keith heard him. He wants to pretend. He wants to know what he’s missing out on. He wants to know what it’s like to have everything. 

“Just for one night? Pretend?” He turns over to look at Keith. There’s conflict heavy in Keith’s eyes. He should say no for both of their sakes. He always says no.

“... One night.” Keith closes his eyes and tilts his head back against the pillows. “And  _ only  _ one night.”

Lance runs his hands through his hair. This isn’t how their song and dance go. Keith is supposed to deny him and pretend it didn’t happen in the morning. Why throw out the script now? Why change? It makes his head and heart hurt more as it comes to the same conclusion.  _ Pity. _

And you know what? He’ll take it.

“One night,” Lance promises as he tucks himself into Keith’s chest. 

* * *

Keith’s mouth is warm and soft. The way his lips trace down his neck and chest have Lance clinging to his shoulders and moaning softly. He radiates heat and passion, love, and lust. Lance has never felt so wanted, so craved for. The man grabs at and traces every inch of him. His neck, his sides, up his thighs and down his abdomen. He kneads at the small of Lance’s back and kisses him with such a deep yet gentle desire. He feels like he’s going to cry, overjoyed by the way Keith pours all of him into each kiss and each touch.

“Keith,” Lance gasps when slicked fingers trace at his entrance.

“I’m here, I got you,” Keith whispers into his ear. “I’m going to take good care of you, Lance.” He presses his lips against his temple. Lance nods his head and tries to relax his grip on Keith’s hair. He wants to make Keith feel good too.

“I love you.” Lance hiccups, words and tears spilling out from him. Keith kisses his tears away.

“I love you too, Lance.” He presses his lips to Lance’s. 

He kisses him softly as he carefully works on preparing him to take his length. It’s overwhelming and Keith gives him a minute to collect himself as he sniffles. Keith hums and traces his cheek with his thumb.

“I need you to relax for me, Angel. Is it too much? We can stop.” He offers but Lance shakes his head.

“It feels good, I’m just…” He trails off.

“I know.” Keith kisses him. “I want to make it good for you too. I want you to feel loved, Lance.”

“I do.” He chuckles and smiles up at Keith. “Please, don’t ever let me go.”

“I wouldn’t dare risk it,” Keith swears and seals it with a kiss. 

Keith rolls his wrist, fingers moving inside of him as he whispers praises and sweet nothings in Lance’s ear. He decorates Lance’s face in kisses, covering every inch he can. 

“Please.” He moans. “I need you.”

“Yeah?” Keith kisses his shoulder and leans back.

“Yeah.”

“Ready?”

“Don’t make me beg.” Lance huffs a soft laugh. Keith looks down at him with an odd expression.

“Not tonight.” He agrees, fingers curling and hitting his sweet spot. Lance gasps, unable to focus on anything but the feeling. Keith removes his fingers and rolls a condom on while Lance whines. 

“I’m going, baby.” Keith leans down and kisses his knee. 

He presses the tip of his cock in and runs his hands down his thighs. They slide up Lance’s sides and chest before cupping his jaw.

“Okay?” 

“Yeah.” Lance nods. Keith sinks further down into him. He gives Lance plenty of time to adjust, kissing his shoulders and cheeks. 

“God, you feel so good,” Keith murmurs when he bottoms out. Lance wraps his arms around his shoulders.

“Fuck…” He agrees, breathlessly. 

“Need a minute?”

“God no.” Lance shakes his head with an airy chuckle.

Keith can’t keep his hands still as he rocks himself into Lance. They roam with a need to touch, a need to memorize. He nibbles on Lance’s ear, presses kisses into his neck, and mouths at his collarbone. Lance moans, his fingers digging into Keith’s back as he nails his sweet spot with each steady thrust. 

Keith rests his forehead against his, staring down at his face as if committing it to memory. Lance can feel his face warming under the gaze and brushes some of Keith’s long hair back out of his eyes. 

“Lance…” Keith kisses his wrist.

“Fuck, love, baby.” 

“You’re doing so good for me.” 

“Nnngh…” 

His heart feels full, his body humming like a live wire, pleasure singing through his veins. It’s never felt like this before, never felt so warm and safe and loved. Lance can feel a new wave of tears prickling at his eyes. 

“It’s okay, let it out.” Keith shifts to kiss his cheeks, his lips, his jaw, not stopping the rock of his hips against Lance’s.

“Make me feel s-so good.” Lance gets out.

“You deserve it.” 

“Keith… please…” He doesn’t know what he’s asking for really. 

“I got you.” Keith drops a kiss on his shoulder and over his sternum. 

“Please!”

“Let go.”

“I don’t want to.” He shakes his head. He doesn’t want this to be over, not when it feels so good, so perfect. Keith chuckles and kisses his cheek. 

“Guess we need to change that huh?”

Keith moves a little harder, a little faster, and Lance can feel himself nearing the edge far too soon. How could he not? 

“Yesyesyes!” His voice has climbed louder and Keith moans into his ear.

“Fuck, Angel, you close?” 

“Please -- ah!” He nods

“Come on then, finish nice and hard for me?” 

Lance finds his back arching up off the bed, nails dragging along Keith’s shoulders, as he finishes with a loud cry of Keith’s name. Keith isn’t too far behind, his name on Keith’s tongue. He feels boneless, weightless, full of love. Keith presses his forehead to Lance’s as they catch their breaths.

“I love you.” He murmurs.

“I love you too.” Keith kisses his lips. 

* * *

Lance hums softly and rubs his tired face. Keith is sitting up next to him, pajama pants low on his hips and phone in his hand as he catches up on whatever Hunk and Pidge must have sent them. 

“Good morning,” Lance says softly and smiles up at him.

“Mornin’.” Keith hums and looks down at Lance. He brushes his bangs out of his eyes before freezing. A small frown tugs at Keith’s lips and Lance doesn’t like that. He sits up and scoots closer to Keith, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and kisses his jaw.

“Lance.” 

“Hmm?” He asks, trailing his kisses along his cheek and pecking his lips. 

“Lance.” Keith sets a firm hand on his shoulder and leans away from him. 

“Wh--?”

“It’s morning.” He says.

“So it is. It’s a lovely morning after --”

“It’s morning, Lance.” He repeats. Lance can feel his body grow cold.

“But we --”

“You asked me to pretend.” Keith’s jaw flexes. 

“There’s no way  _ any _ of that was pretend.” Lance swallows thickly. This isn’t real. This isn’t happening.

“See? I shouldn’t have done that last night. This is why it was a mistake.” Keith shakes his head, discarding his phone as he gets up. 

A mistake? Lance… was a mistake? 

His ribs tighten, crushing his lungs and making it impossible to breathe. He needs to leave before… before…

Before what? 

He throws on his clothes, barely caring that they’re inside out or backward, laces up his shoes, and marches out of Keith’s bedroom. 

“Lance,” Keith calls after him. He follows Lance down the small hallway and Lance doesn’t understand  _ why _ . 

Lance is a mistake after all. 

“Lance!” Keith snags his arm.

“What!?” He cries, tugging it free and glaring at Keith.  _ Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. _

“Y-You told me to… to never let you go.” Keith looks conflicted, broken, hurt, Lance isn’t sure. 

He’s projecting his feelings onto Keith. He probably always had.

“Yeah, well, it’s morning Kogane!” Lance sobs, unable to fight it back down. Keith tugs at his bangs his own jaw wobbling.

“...It’s morning.” He agrees.


	2. Twilight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings:  
> Keith POV  
> Bit more angst  
> Dead father  
> Slowly but surely getting that happy ending

It’s been one week since Keith watched Lance throw on a jacket and left his place the morning after they had slept together. He has no idea how Lance made it home, though he does have his theories. The most likely scenario is that Lance walked to the nearest gas station where he called Hunk and lied about a potential one-night-stand that went wrong. He could see it play out perfectly in his head. 

Keith knows he shouldn’t have been so weak, but that’s just how he is when he’s around Lance. He’s weak, less subjective, and an absolute fool for him. Lance could ask him to stop breathing and he would lose consciousness before allowing his aching lungs to gasp for air. He wouldn’t regret it either. 

He fucked up. Again. Didn’t he?

“Can we pretend?” Lance asked Keith with rum still on his breath. Something about it was different, though he couldn’t tell you why. Maybe it was the desperation in Lance’s voice that night, crying out to the deepest parts of Keith. Or perhaps it was knowing that Lance’s new ex really seemed to have made Lance the happiest.

“Just for one night? Pretend?” So he did. He pretended that he would be allowed to hold him like this for the rest of his days. That he would make love to him like this every night that he could. That he could allow himself to love Lance beyond a friend. That he was his lover and Lance was his. Body, heart, and soul. 

He heard the words “I love you” come out of Lance’s lips and he dove headfirst, right into him. 

He poured everything into that moment, that night because he knew come morning Lance and he would go back to being nothing more than friends. Because it’s the only way to keep Lance by Keith’s side for good. 

Or so he thought. 

Keith hasn’t seen Lance since that night. He’s not even as active as he once was in the group chat. He didn’t send a private message the following morning because that would have meant that things weren’t the same. Now, he feels he really should have checked up on him. The longer it gets though, the more awkward it feels to send him anything to his inbox. Not even his shifts at work have been enough to distract him from his worries.

The silence is killing him, so he bites the bullet and asks the council. 

> Mothballs: Has anyone seen Lance? 
> 
> Hunky Dory: Yeah! He was in class today. Why? 
> 
> Mothballs: Oh. Just haven’t seen him in the chat. Thought the earth opened up and swallowed him whole. 
> 
> Gremlin: He mentioned being stressed the fuck out with finals. You know how he gets. He suddenly wants to do every opportunity to get extra credit and study all day and night.
> 
> Mothballs: Oh. Right.
> 
> Hunky Dory: I really wished he wouldn’t do it that way, he always gets so burnt out after…
> 
> Hunky Dory: And with it all happening post-breakup? Worst combo
> 
> Gremlin: Honestly, yeah. It’s definitely not how I would prep for finals but hey, it usually works out for him. He’s never gotten anything lower than a C+ since high school
> 
> Hunky Dory: Cs get degrees :flex:
> 
> Gremlin: Speaking of. Keith, you need to come back and finish your degree. How are you going to let Lance flex on you with a fancy framed piece of paper?
> 
> Mothballs: You and Hunk would be flexing on me as well.
> 
> Gremlin: Well yeah, but we’d be doing it with *two* fancy framed pieces of paper each!

He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. At least the reminder about finals week allows him to relax a bit more about the radio silence. He chews on his lip and opens up Lance’s private messages. He closes it. He opens it again and stares at Lance’s icon. He groans and closes it once more, tossing his phone aside. He  _ should _ reach out to him. He grabs his phone and opens up the chat. 

> Greñudo: Hey.
> 
> Greñudo: Heard you’ve been cramming for finals.
> 
> Greñudo: Wanna meet at Northend for coffee and refueling? 

He doesn’t immediately get a message back but that’s fine. If Lance is in the zone then he’ll answer when he’s less busy. In the meantime, Keith tucks his phone away and makes his way out of his house to head on down to the coffee shop. 

It’s a quick drive to the downtown area and the parking lot isn’t particularly full today. He hops off his bike and makes his way into the red brick building. The barista smiles when they see him and instantly recognizes him. 

“Black coffee no whip and a toasted white hot chocolate with extra sprinkles?” They ask, long since memorizing the order Keith always asks for. 

“Yes please.” He nods and pulls his wallet out. They ring him up and get to work on making his order. He shifts from foot to foot and looks around at the decor that hasn’t changed all that much since the group started to come here. It’s a quaint little space and it’s never too crowded. 

“Your order.” The barista calls and Keith thanks them politely, taking both the cups and finding a table to sit at and wait for Lance. 

His phone has been rattling nonstop since he arrived. It’s incredible that his friends are only ever this active when he’s otherwise occupied and can’t keep up with them. It’s why more often than not he ends up having to mute their group chat to prevent it from irritating him. That’s alright though, he’s always quick to catch up with them. 

He’ll read every message, react to every meme, even make a note of possible future hangouts. He may have a hard time remembering dates and times, but he at least tries to show them that he’s listening. His friends have become a family to him. He’d hate to lose any of them. 

Keith is very aware of how one loses a friend. He didn’t have the social skills needed to keep up with any kind of relationship when he was younger, nor did he have an interest. He wanted to do everything by himself. Somehow, he got into this mindset that if he could endure pain by himself, if he could make it through suffering alone, then it meant he was strong. 

But that all changed when he met Lance. 

Keith would want others to believe that Lance wormed his way into Keith’s heart. That the man grew like a weed, even along his thorns and barbed wire. But that would be an absolute lie. Because you see, Lance wasn’t a weed. He was a vine. Delicate and sweet yet strong. Lance grew on him, curled himself in his ribs, engulfed his lungs, and took root in his heart. There is no way to get rid of him, not without ripping everything out of him. And really, Keith wouldn't want to. 

It may be hard to breathe, to sleep, to think with Lance being a part of him like this, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Keith loves him. He loves Lance. Which is why he would never do anything to lose him. 

Sadly, sometimes that has meant hurting him. 

Lance loves him. Keith is very much aware of that. Lance loves him with all of his heart, all of his being. Keith has no doubts about it. Lance will kiss his lips and pour every ounce of his soul into it and Keith will cling to him like a lifeline. He would drown in him if he could. Melt in the fire that is Lance’s passion. Combust if the man dared ask him to. 

But he can’t. 

Because if Keith allowed himself to love Lance, he would leave. Everyone Keith has ever loved has left him. His parents, his mentor, his exes. The only people who have ever stayed by his side are his friends. Friends who adore him, support and encourage him. He is so grateful to have them. 

This is why he so desperately needs Lance to understand. He loves him. He loves him so much and he needs him to be at his side. He can’t lose him. And if that means only ever being his friend then so be it. 

He looks back at his private chat with Lance as he sips slowly on his drink. It warms his chest where his heart had gotten cold. He still hasn’t responded nor has he seen his message yet. It has him chewing on his lip and bouncing his leg anxiously under the table. 

It’ll be like the first time they had this talk months ago. They had both been a little tipsy that night, lips loose and secrets spilling from them. Lance admitted his feelings and Keith blurted out his fears. Lance however pointed out how his relationships went. They burned bright, exploding with passion and love, and then ran on the fumes until it died. He often blamed himself for smothering it but Keith disagreed. It didn’t stop Lance from begging him to do nothing about their feelings out of his own fears. 

And Keith? Well, he doesn’t stay friends with his exes, so he understands where Lance is coming from. He’s made mistakes and been burned more than once by their actions. He’d long since learned that when the relationship ends to delete the number, drop their shit at their house, and never look back. Or at least when he was the one in control of the breakup. His partners tended to run for reasons he didn’t know and was never told why.

So a relationship between him and Lance, something more than the romantically tinged friendship that they had, was bound to go wrong. At least, that’s what they both had agreed on. A nice comprehensive list was drafted and edited several times after its creation. The top three items never changed.

  1. Do not get together.
  2. Fix your issues. 
  3. Move on.



The last one was always a painful one when they looked over the list. It was an impossibility. 

So why not stop fighting it? Lance was right, the other night. Keith  _ wasn’t _ sure if a relationship between them would end badly. Or even end. What if they both finally made something wonderful for one another. If they allowed their friendship to be a strong foundation where romance is permitted to grow, would that be so bad? It can’t be selfish if it is something Lance wants as well. 

There is only one way to find that out though, and it’s to ask Lance directly while hoping he will answer with utmost honesty. His fingers start to type out his words on his phone when it happily chirps to let him know his message has finally been read. He pauses for a second, his breath catching in his throat as he waits for Lance’s reply.

Three dots pop up on Lance’s side of the chat, showing he’s typing. 

The dots disappear.

They come back.

Gone again.

Back.

“Lance, come on!” He groans. “Just give it to me.” 

> LoverBoy: I can’t make it.

Keith stares at the message, reading it over and over again. He waits for there to be more, but there’s nothing else. It stings like no one’s business, raking his heart over hot coals and sharp glass. He tells himself it’s fine Lance is busy studying, after all, and it’s not like he’s actively trying to avoid him. Right?

But the guilt presses down on his shoulders and chest, constricting around his throat and pooling on his tongue in dark words he’d never dare utter out loud. He knows how this goes. Lance will slowly step away from him, lose interest, and cut ties. Before he knows it, one week will become two, then a month, and then a year. Lance will only be another memory of someone he had held dear to his heart. Another painful memory of being burned. 

He deletes what he had typed out on the screen and replaces it with a new string of words. He cannot let Lance leave him, he downright refuses. Keith hits send on the message and stares at the hot chocolate meant for him sitting innocently on the table. He’s crossed into new territory with the message, doing something neither have done before.

He brings up the past.

> Greñudo: Is this my fault because of what happened the other weekend? 
> 
> Greñudo: We need to talk about it.
> 
> Greñudo: Lance?
> 
> Greñudo: Are you still there?

Keith flips his phone over and sets it on the table so he can ignore the lack of response. It’s easier to pretend that he wasn’t left on read if he can’t see it. He tosses back the last of his coffee and plays with the empty cup. He watches the clock on the wall of the coffee shop and after ten minutes without a response, Keith gets up. 

He tucks his phone into his pocket without looking at it. He grabs his empty cup and Lance’s drink and walks over to the recycling bins. His empty cup goes right into it and he leaves with Lance’s still in his hand. He doesn’t know what to do with it but he doesn’t want it to go to waste. He lifts it to his lips and drinks it. 

It’s too sweet on his tongue in all honesty. He walks around downtown, one hand in his pocket the other pouring the hot chocolate into his mouth. He only heads back to his bike once the cup is empty and he tosses it into another recycling bin. Keith makes the mistake of checking his phone before getting onto his bike. 

Thirty minutes, no response. It weighs heavy on him and he can feel the flicker of dangerous ideas run through his mind. He shakes his head and puts his phone away, pulling his helmet on and telling himself to focus on getting home. 

* * *

Keith gets home and paces around his house. He hates this, the silence from Lance. He has to restrain himself from sending another message to him. It won’t encourage Lance to respond after all. He mutes the group chat because the notification sounds were getting to be too much for him and his fragile and bruised heart. 

He sits down on his couch and stares up at the ceiling, eyes tracing the water stain in the corner. He covers his face with his arm and counts his breaths to keep them even. His thoughts are swirling around him in ways he doesn’t particularly care for and wishes that it would stop. It’s a terrible, ugly, feeling taking root inside of him. 

He jumps five feet in the air when his phone chimes loudly next to him. He looks down at the lock screen, a picture Lance had taken of the two of them, the notification indicating he had a new message. He runs his hand through his hair and unlocks his phone. Lance’s private chat pops up with a response, nearly an hour after Keith’s last message.

> LoverBoy: Keith…
> 
> LoverBoy: i can’t do this right now. 

His heart freezes in his chest at the words. His fingers shake and he can’t focus on his breathing anymore. Another message comes in.

> LoverBoy: i need time. please.
> 
> LoverBoy: give me like two more days okay? i don’t have the headspace for this right now Keith.
> 
> LoverBoy: i need these exams taken care of.
> 
> LoverBoy: please?

Keith swallows down his fears and tells his mind to shut up for five seconds. 

> Greñudo: Yeah, okay.
> 
> Greñudo: I can do that.

Two days sounds like an absolute hellscape. An eternity of suffering, regardless of it only being forty-eight hours. But two days is far better than two weeks.

> LoverBoy: thank you, Keith.
> 
> Greñudo: Just one thing?
> 
> LoverBoy:...what’s up?
> 
> Greñudo: Can you promise that you’ll come back in two days?

A part of him feels sick that he has the audacity to ask Lance to promise such a thing. It sinks its fangs into his skin and injects venomous self-hate into his veins. 

> LoverBoy: i promise.

He nods to himself, relief soothing the hurt that’s slowly tearing himself apart. 

> Greñudo: Thank you.
> 
> Greñudo: Talk to you later.
> 
> Greñudo: And good luck on your finals.
> 
> LoverBoy: thanks

Keith closes the app, not trusting himself to be patient. He gets up and puts his phone in his room to charge. It’s mostly to keep him from using it since the cord has to be in the most specific position for it to work properly. He gives it a nod when it pings, letting him know it’s charging, and he walks out of the room. 

He might as well do some cleaning around here. If nothing else he should sort through the junk that’s taking up space in his shitty shed outside. He hasn’t been in it in… a while. 

Perhaps thinking about a different set of painful memories will take his mind off of this set.

* * *

Keith finds himself sitting in his living room, surrounded by his dad’s old stuff and tracing the emblem on one of his shirts. The fabric is coarse under his fingers and it smells slightly of dust and disuse. His eyes drift to a few books with his dad’s name scrawled on the inside cover, a few of his medals, his old coat. 

“This was a terrible idea.” He murmurs. He’s surrounded by the ghost of his dad. He folds the shirt back up and sets it aside with some of the others. He tries to ignore how easily he could fit into it now, rather than be engulfed in it like when he was younger. He carefully brushes dust off a framed photo in the box he’d pulled out. 

His dad is kneeling next to him, firefighter uniform on and a proud look. Keith meanwhile is holding some award he’d gotten from school with a big grin on his face. He doesn’t remember the day, doesn’t remember the award, doesn’t remember the weight of his dad’s palm on his shoulder. It’s only a photo to prove it once happened. 

There’s another framed photo in the box. He actually remembers this one. He’s smiling, arm outstretched and holding the camera in his hand, with a birthday hat on his head. His dad has one on too, mid-bite of Keith’s tenth birthday cake. Keith knows it was the best months he’d had with his dad but at the same time, there’s a sense of selfishness attached to it. He was only happy because he got to see his dad more, his dad was at home, safe from the dangers of his job but temporarily bound to a wheelchair.

Even in the photo, he can see the edge of one of the wheels. Keith knew how much his dad had hated being in it, how eager he was to get back on his feet. And he remembers the intense fear and panic that had run through him the day he caught his dad limping around without it. His dad recovered, he did his physical therapy and went back to work. He went back to work and then -- Keith sighs and runs his hand through his hair.

He sets them aside as well. There has to be something in here that won’t hurt him, right? He grabs a binder and flips it open. Newspaper clippings his dad so carefully cut out and pasted onto construction paper are carefully preserved in plastic sheets. Anything his dad or his team did is in here, a scrapbook of heroism and fire and ash. His dad’s handwritten scrawl next to each one telling more about what happened than the articles themselves.

But the details aren’t the kind of things the papers would want anyway. It’s descriptions of the heat, of sounds, of smells, of the people he could and couldn’t save. Regrets, mistakes, compliments, achievements, all recorded for each incident. At least, all but one. Keith pauses on it, his stomach twisting in knots. 

The last entry in the book is different from the others. It wasn’t done as carefully, wasn’t prepared as neatly, his dad’s notes don’t occupy the blank space under the article. All there is, is Keith’s own shaky writing, trying to connect one last time to his dad, hoping it would heal the wound. It didn’t work then, as evidenced by the handwriting getting worse and worse the longer it continued. Until it devolved into questions and accusations to a man who didn’t come back from the fire, to a man six feet underground.

“Fuck.” He closes the binder and rubs at his face. He waits until he calms back down before checking his phone. The group chat hasn’t been as active the last two days, everyone busy with their last finals. Lance hasn’t sent him anything. He sets his phone down and stares at his dad’s things again. 

There are a few other papers in the box, but most of it he knows he doesn’t want to look at. Reports from the department, reports from the hospital, official records from the funeral home. He runs his hand through his hair. This was easier to sort through the last time he did this, easier to let things go when he had someone willing to toss it for him. It was easier to not have to do it alone and be allowed to hurt and cry and scream while someone rubbed his back and understood that it all needed to be boxed up for another time. 

He almost wishes his old mentor was still around. Shiro would be able to help him toss out the binder and the papers and all these old things that haven’t seen the light of day in years. Or at the very least, help him feel less like he’s cutting part of his heart out and burying it with his dad. Shiro had understood loss and hurt and how angry one can be at the world for taking someone away so unfairly. And then he too disappeared from Keith’s life.

Though, not by choice and not by the universe deciding it was time to take someone young far too soon. It was done by the hands of those in charge of the program meant to help kids like Keith, kids who needed someone. It took him far too long to realize what had happened, too caught up in another dose of pain and anger. 

They sent Shiro away for telling him it was okay to be who he was and that he could love whoever his heart chose. He wonders, not for the first time, if he could find him in a sea of similar names on social media sites. If he did find him, what advice could Shiro offer him about his situation with Lance? 

What advice would his dad offer?

He glances at the stuff around him and sighs. Both would tell him to be patient, a trait he’s never really had, and that he should be ready to get up and try again. 

“I’m doing what I can.” He murmurs, letting his head fall back against the couch behind him. He closes his eyes and measures his breaths. He doesn’t even react when his phone chirps in a cheery tune. 

He only moves when he hears a second one a few minutes later and growls softly at the thing. He wants to wallow in his misery a bit longer, damn it! Keith freezes when he realizes the chat that’s pinging him is Lance’s private messages. He unlocks his phone quickly and opens it up.

> LoverBoy: you there?
> 
> LoverBoy: Keith?

Seeing the two messages makes a knot form in his throat and his eyes sting. Lance always has perfect timing it seems. Keith scrubs his face with his sleeve and types out his response.

> Greñudo: Yeah, sorry. I was sorting through some stuff at home.
> 
> Greñudo: It’s a huge mess and I don’t know what to do.
> 
> LoverBoy: o shit
> 
> LoverBoy: do you need help?
> 
> Greñudo: I think I’m gonna put everything back, honestly. 
> 
> Greñudo: How were your finals?
> 
> LoverBoy: i see you deflecting there sir
> 
> LoverBoy: and i will come back to this
> 
> LoverBoy: my finals are all done and i am a free man!

Keith smiles and draws his legs in. He can hear Lance’s voice through the text and can picture the triumphant grin on his lips. He knew he missed Lance but he’s seeing just how much he did. He gets overwhelmed with the lack of stress that he keeps having to rub his face or hold his breath.

> LoverBoy: and then i told her she could fuck off!
> 
> LoverBoy: so that was me last week
> 
> LoverBoy: what about you? sorry we didn’t get to talk last time
> 
> Greñudo: Not much. Just my usual.
> 
> LoverBoy: somethings off
> 
> LoverBoy: and its not about ‘us’
> 
> LoverBoy: whats up?
> 
> Greñudo: I don’t want to get into it. 
> 
> Greñudo: Just dealing with dad’s things.
> 
> LoverBoy: oh

He looks back at the framed photos and gets up. He snags them and props them up next to his TV. He doesn’t have too many pictures of his dad out, maybe a change will be nice. 

> LoverBoy: you want a distraction then?
> 
> Greñudo: Please.

He starts to put his dad’s stuff back into the box. His fingers hesitate on one of his old shirts and he sets it aside for now.

> LoverBoy: i’m great at distractions
> 
> LoverBoy: for example
> 
> LoverBoy: where are you going to take me to celebrate that i’m done with finals and probably did amazing? 

Keith chews his lip and closes the box up. He pats the top of it and clears his throat. Lance is clearly trying to cover up the fact that the two of them still have something very important to discuss. 

> Greñudo: I have a few ideas.
> 
> Greñudo: But before we get to that, we really need to talk, Lance.
> 
> LoverBoy: ...i know
> 
> Greñudo: Please?
> 
> LoverBoy: you’re probably right
> 
> Greñudo: I’m sorry.
> 
> LoverBoy: i know Keith
> 
> Greñudo: Same park as always? Feels like we should be talking about this in person.
> 
> LoverBoy: same bench?
> 
> Greñudo: Yeah.
> 
> LoverBoy: i’ll catch a ride
> 
> LoverBoy: 5 work?
> 
> Greñudo: Perfect, I’ll see you then.

He tucks the box under his arm and takes it back to the shed. He sets it down gently, right where it had been before. He looks around the small space and sighs. He’s made no progress on getting this thing cleaned out, has he? He heads back inside and takes a quick shower to get the dust off of him. 

He dries off and, after a moment of hesitation, he pulls on his dad’s shirt. He smoothes it down and looks at himself in the mirror. It’s a bit loose in the arms and chest but he notices it’s shorter than his regular shirts. Is he… taller than dad now? He flexes his jaw and shakes his head. He can ruminate on this later, right now he has to get his ass over to the park.

* * *

He’s early, as he often tries to be, and he looks out at the city at the bottom of the hill. The view is different during the bright sunny hours compared to the dark of night. Lance walks up to him not long after. 

“Here.” Lance holds out a cup holder and Keith recognizes the logo from the Northend coffee shop. 

“Thanks.” Keith takes his black coffee from the holder and wraps his fingers around it.

“No problem.” Lance sits next to him, holding his hot chocolate and tucking the cup holder against him.

The pair fall silent shortly after, neither knowing what to say. Keith doesn’t know if he’d be allowed to wrap his arm around Lance’s shivering shoulders. Instead, he stares back out at the horizon, remembering all his dreams of running away from this town and his life to start new elsewhere. Or at least, escape from the town that would stare at him with pity and apologies for his dad on their tongues.

Lance was never like that, and maybe it’s what first piqued his interest in him. Someone who treated him like a separate being, something human. It was nice. And now… he’s probably five seconds away from destroying everything because his heart won’t stop loving him. He gets caught up in the sea of bad thoughts about how much he ruins everything with his words alone. 

All of it melts away when Lance leans closer and rests his head on Keith’s shoulder. He uses that as permission and wraps his arm around him. Lance tucks himself further against his side. This feels a lot better than any of the other times they’ve been here before. He takes it as a good sign.

He’s been a damn fool and can only blame himself for getting in his own way in his pursuit of happiness. He can’t allow that to happen anymore. Lance still hasn’t said anything, and neither has he, but it’s not uncomfortable. Keith wants to give him time to think, which doubles as giving Keith time to breathe. Should he be the one to talk first or does he wait for Lance? He is the one who invited Lance out so Keith is the one who should be bringing it all up, right?

“Your thoughts are too loud,” Lance murmurs and it brings a bittersweet smile to Keith’s face.

“I’ll try to think softer.” He says, remembering what Lance had responded with the other day. Lance leans back slightly so he can look up at Keith and he stares right back down at him. 

He’s smiling but Keith can see so much hurt lingering in those blue eyes. He cups his cheek and Lance leans into the warm touch. He licks his lips and Lance waits with bated breath for Keith to speak.

“Lance…” He starts but doesn’t know how to continue. 

“I know… me too. So much.” Lance chuckles bitterly, knowing what’s on his mind at least.

“What…” Keith sighs and starts again. “What do we do?”

“What  _ can _ we do? What will we allow ourselves to do?” 

“I don’t want this to be about what we  _ can _ or  _ can’t _ . I need this to be about what we  _ want _ . So tell me honestly, what do you want?” 

“What I’ve always wanted. You.” Lance answers like it doesn’t shake the core of his being, as if loving Keith were as easy as breathing.

“Me how, Lance?” He asks. Lance looks down and plays with the cardboard around his cup. He doesn’t respond, choosing to think his words over and it only makes Keith more anxious.

“If you could allow yourself to have it all, what would it be?” He presses.

“I can’t tell you.” Lance finally answers with.

“Why not?” 

“Because you’ll give me everything I ask for, and then you  _ regret  _ it.” Lance throws his free hand out with a scoff.

“Is that what you think happened?” 

“It’s what you said!”

“I said that because I  _ failed _ to give you what you asked for! You asked for  _ one _ night, and I wanted to give you so much more. I wanted to go after you but you, you pulled away, you told me to cut an act I wasn’t even playing. I -- Lance I’m so  _ tired _ of dancing around this and around what I want too.” He runs his hand through his hair and tugs lightly at the strands. “We’re out of excuses.”

“You keep asking me what I want, but you haven’t told me what it is  _ you _ want.” Lance crosses his arms.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Keith looks at him, trying to see if he can catch a hint of understanding in Lance’s face. 

The fucker has a smirk on while he shakes his head in disagreement. Keith sets his coffee aside and plucks Lance’s out of his hands, placing it beside his. He leans closer and cradles Lance’s face in his hands. 

“I want you, Lance. I want you in my arms, in my bed, on my chest. I want to call you my boyfriend and my lover. I want to pour all my love into a kiss.” He traces his cheeks with his thumbs. “I want to love you and… and have you love me back.”

Lance smiles up at him, the hurt in his eyes from before replaced with love as they fill with misty tears. It has Keith’s heart melting at the sight. 

“I love you. So much. I’m a desperate fool for you.”

“Even when I’m too much?” Lance asks. 

“Again with that? I’ve said it before, there’s no such thing as ‘too much’ of a good thing.”

“Even when I’m too loud or too clingy?” 

“Lance, I love you.  _ All _ of you.” Keith chuckles and shakes his head. “Why are you asking about being loud and clingy as though it were a bad thing? Do you think I  _ don’t _ love hearing you laugh or that snort you do when you can’t contain it?”

“Hey!” Lance laughs and pulls his head out of Keith’s hands.

“Or when you wrap your arms around mine and hold me close? When I feel like I’m being whisked away on my next new adventure? Lance, please. I love you, all of you, and I want every last bit of you I can have,” He presses his forehead against Lance’s. “Please. I want to love you.” 

“I want that too… but --” Lance cuts himself off. He closes his eyes and Keith’s heart breaks.  _ But? But what? _ What could possibly keep them apart this time? He bites on his tongue to keep from demanding answers from Lance. 

“Keith, I -- I need time.”

“Time?” He doesn’t understand but he wants to. He wants to give Lance everything he asks for, everything he needs. Lance takes Keith’s hands into his own and holds them close to his chest.

“I want to do things right. Let’s not forget that I just got out of a relationship. I don’t want you to be the person I rush into and have us both crash.” Lance opens his eyes and looks up at him pleadingly. “You’re worth so much more than that, Keith.”

“Oh, alright. Yeah, that… that makes sense. I can respect that.” He looks down at their hands. 

In fact, seeing Lance is willing to take this all so seriously should reassure him that this will all have a good outcome with both of them moving away from their fears. Keith smiles softly and nods his head. He laces his fingers with Lance’s and kisses his temple. 

“So, give you some time, while I seduce you for good then.” He says and Lance laughs softly.

“What?”

“I can’t expect you to be head over heels for me.” He shrugs.

“Keith, I’m already head ove--”

“You said you wanted to do things right.” Keith hums, a hand coming up to cup his jaw and trace his lip. “Let’s do this right then. The way you deserve.”

“By seducing me?” Lance raises a brow, amused.

“By making sure you know that you’re loved, wanted, needed. And when you’re ready to believe that and to give this a try, you can kiss me and I’ll know we’re officially dating.” Keith murmurs. Lance sucks on his lower lip as he considers his offer for a moment. He waits patiently and would wait for as long as he’d need to.

“Okay.” Lance smiles and nods.

“Okay.” Keith presses a kiss to his forehead. He feels giddy and excited and he’s already thinking about different things he can do. It’s all going to work out. He can feel it in his bones, all the way down to his marrow. 

He loves Lance and Lance loves him and that’s all that really matters in the end.


	3. Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and commenting. It was so fun to post my first solo work and sharing it with yalls. Please accept this fluff to make up for any pain I caused you the past two chapters. 
> 
> Chapter warning:   
> Just a bit more hurt before all of the comfort ^^;  
> More mentions of Keith's parents  
> Fluff feels

It’s been a few days since Lance and Keith finally allowed themselves to be one hundred percent honest with the other. No filters, no guilt, nothing but the truth. It was the most refreshing thing that had happened. They keep it up in their private messages and when the two hang out together. He can finally breathe and he’s never felt better.

Not only that but his last professor posted his grade. Lance can now proudly announce to the group chat that he’s passed all his classes this semester. He also adds on the additional pat on the back for nothing being lower than a B.

> Hunky Dory: Congrats man!
> 
> Gremlin: Woohoo!
> 
> Mothballs: Is this your way of saying you want celebratory dinner?
> 
> BoiBloo: you know it!
> 
> BoiBloo: the best part is Hunk and Pidge now have zero excuses to not join us since we’re all done with school for the season
> 
> Gremlin: Is that offer of you covering drinks still available?
> 
> BoiBloo: that was like, last month!
> 
> Hunky Dory: I’ll cover drinks if you cover the ride, Pidge.
> 
> Gremlin: Deal! But Keith has to dance.
> 
> Mothballs: Woah, woah, woah, why?
> 
> Gremlin: For no other reason than my own entertainment.
> 
> BoiBloo: aw Pidge, Keith doesn’t know how to dance…
> 
> Mothballs: I know how to dance!
> 
> BoiBloo: oh then that’s perfect then 😏
> 
> Mothballs: I’ll dance if Lance buys dinner.

There’s always a catch with this man. Lance smiles to himself and agrees to the terms and conditions, hoping his friends take pity on his wallet when it comes to the food. They plan to meet up in two days so Keith isn’t restricted by his job hours. 

Lance is most certainly _not_ nervous about seeing Keith in person again. Nope. Not at all. No really, he isn’t nervous, so why ask? He’s actually rather _excited_. Hunk and Pidge are going to be there too and he is just as excited to see them. However, the last time he and Keith met face-to-face, he had mentioned that he would try to seduce Lance. So, should Lance be doing the same?

He decides that, yes, he should. So he’s going to need to put his best foot forward. And for that, he’s going to need a clear conscience. Therefore, he contacts an expert.

> 🔫: Hunkkkkkkkkkkkk
> 
> 🍯: Oh boy.
> 
> 🍯: You rang?
> 
> 🔫: I need a new outfit :(
> 
> 🍯: For The Blade?
> 
> 🔫: for uh… reasons
> 
> 🍯: Is this code ‘I wanna feel myself after doing good in school and my first time going out after my breakup’ or code ‘I’m out hunting’.
> 
> 🔫: um… how about we talk in person about this?
> 
> 🍯: I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Do you know where you want to go shopping?
> 
> 🔫: I love you so much 🥺💙💛

* * *

Lance is standing in front of the mirror in the middle of the dressing room and stares back at Hunk’s face in the reflection. 

“So um, yeah. Now you know.” He says, playing with the sleeve of the shirt he’s got on. He’s finally spilled everything that has been going on between him and Keith to Hunk.

“Oh no, I’ve known. I’m just glad you finally told me.” Hunk shrugs.

“What!?” He whips around and hisses with a dark blush over his cheeks. “What do you mean you _knew_!?”

“Well, I had my suspicions. But Lance, buddy. Not only is it _so_ obvious you’ve been in love with Keith but um…” Hunk clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck. “I picked you up very close to his place shortly after your breakup and well, you _were_ in Keith’s motorcycle jacket.” He trails off as he plays with another shirt option in his hands. Lance groans, embarrassed, and covers his flushed face.

“I wanted to tell you but, well, it’s Keith’s private life too. But it was going to eat at me and I need your advice!”

“My advice?”

“Yes! What do I do?” Lance pouts up at him.

“You two already worked it all out, Lance. I think you deserve to see where this all goes.” Hunk hums while he fixes the collar on Lance’s shirt to lay flat.

“We do, huh?” Lance smiles softly.

“Mhmm.”

“Soooo, I should seduce him tonight then?” Lance smirks.

“Just pace yourself, man.” Hunk laughs.

“Should I, um, tell Pidge? I mean she’s going to notice that I’m all over Keith.”

“Oh, she’s known too.”

“What!?” Lance whines again. “Am I that obvious?”

“You both are.” Hunk corrects him.

* * *

Lance is sitting at the table with Hunk, waiting for both Keith and Pidge to arrive. He’s only had water so far. He tells himself that if he drinks to only have a few and pace himself with them. He always tends to drink more than he plans on when he gets nervous. Which, he’s _not_ . Nervous that is. He even tells himself so. He’s _excited_. 

And sure enough, that is confirmed for him the moment his eyes meet Keith’s. Why does this feel like a first date? Is it the fact that Keith cleaned himself up good? Maybe it’s that Keith braided his hair, a subtle signal that he means business tonight. Either way, it has Lance smiling like crazy.

“Hey,” Keith says, taking the seat next to Lance.

“Hey yourself.” Lance smiles up at him. Pidge goes straight to the bar and returns with a few drinks and more water for everyone at the table. 

They all talk over loud music for a bit until Hunk’s song comes on, which leads to Lance getting dragged out onto the dance floor with the big guy. He gets into the groove and rhythm of things, enjoying himself when Hunk leans closer to talk to him. 

“You should remind him that he gets dinner if he dances.” Hunk tells him. 

“Yeah, huh?” Lance laughs and he follows to where his gaze is set. He finds Keith, leaning back in the seat with an adorable little pout. Said pout shifts into a small grin and a shy wave when Keith realizes Lance has been staring. 

“I kind of want him to dance because he feels like it and not because he _has_ to,” Lance murmurs, waving back at Keith. 

“I think he likes you.” Hunk teases. 

“Yeah, I think so too.” He smiles and turns to face Hunk again. 

After a few more songs with Hunk, the man returns to their table to have a drink, leaving Lance on the floor alone. He watches as Pidge tugs on Keith’s arm to get him to stand up and boldly pushes him onto the dance floor with Lance. It’s all greatly exaggerated and Keith rolls his eyes at the Gremlin.

“I was already on my way up here.” Keith tries to defend himself.

“Oh no, for sure.” Lance nods. 

“Um, do you want --?” He asks, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand and offering the other to Lance.

“I’d love to, Keith.” He smiles, taking the hand offered to him and resting the other on Keith’s shoulder. Keith wraps an arm around Lance’s waist and actually is who leads Lance along to the song.

“Oh wow, you actually _do_ know how to dance.” 

“Why does that always seem to surprise people?” Keith grumbles and Lance wonders who else has gotten the privilege of dancing with him like this. It’s a quick flash of jealousy that shouldn’t be there in all honesty.

“You just don’t seem like the type.” He shrugs. 

“To dance?”

“To allow yourself to have fun.”

“I’m trying to change that.” Keith hums, his fingers tracing Lance’s waist. 

Lance wraps both of his arms around Keith’s shoulders and exaggerates his movements so that Keith has no choice but to follow his lead instead. Both men laugh as they battle to regain the lead. Neither of them comes out as the victor and they hardly even break for drinks. 

By the end of the night, Keith and Lance are sweaty and messy. Between the two of them, they’ve had a whopping total of two beers, meaning neither are tipsy enough to excuse how loudly they are giggling and laughing with one another. Hunk and Pidge don’t seem to mind it too much, both glad that they’re happy. However, this doesn’t mean that they’re safe from the teasing.

“So how long have you two been going out for, again?” Pidge asks them.

“They’re on their honeymoon, Pidge.” Hunk gently swats her with a laugh of his own. Lance smiles and shakes his head.

Keith is yet to let go of his hand as they all make their way across the street to the locally owned pizza place. They close later on Fridays and Saturdays due to the extra patronage they get from The Blade being open. Keith makes sure to slip into the space next to Lance in the booth. After the menus are passed around, Keith ‘stretches’ his arms out, one coming down to wrap around Lance’s shoulder.

“So slick,” Lance whispers and hides his smile behind his menu. Keith gives him a wink. _Shameless._

Lance can’t say much though, finding that he rather enjoys it. It makes his cheeks flush and he’s unable to stop smiling. He scoots closer against Keith’s side when he has to grab his drink the waiter put out of his reach. Pidge flashes him an amused grin and Lance finds that the parmesan container at the center of the table is the most interesting thing in the restaurant right now. 

After the meal, Hunk and Pidge ask him if he’d like to catch a ride home with them since Pidge was covering the fare. Lance hums, considering the offer when he feels Keith’s jacket being draped over his shoulders. 

“I got him.” Keith hums and looks down at Lance, waiting on him to accept his offer or decline it. Lance smiles back and nods his head as he looks at his two other friends.

“Keith’s got me.” He repeats.

“Of course he does.” Pidge waggles her brows. 

“Let us know when you get home.” Hunk reminds him and walks with Pidge to figure out their transportation home. 

Keith offers Lance his hand and he happily takes it, lacing their fingers together. Keith guides them to the back of The Blade where he parked his bike. Lance lets out a shaky breath and Keith looks over his shoulder at him.

“You alright?” He asks.

“Yeah, sorry. It just gave me this… Deja vu.” Lance chuckles while waving his free hand around. Keith gives the hand in his a reassuring squeeze.

“We’re not going to repeat any of that, I promise. I’m taking your straight home and I’ll shoot you a message when I get back to mine.”

“Aw, no park tonight?” He teases. Keith brings his hand up to his lips and kisses the knuckles. Lance can feel his stomach swoop down low at the action.

“I have work tomorrow, but if you want a date out at the park, I’m game.” 

“D-Date?” Lance sputters.

“Was that _not_ what you were hinting at?” Keith smirks behind Lance’s hand.

“I -- Well! Yes. I’m _also_ down for a date out at the park.” He answers, glancing away from him.

“Good. I’ll give you more details when I get home tonight.”

“You mean plan on your way home?”

“Would you rather I didn’t?” Keith chuckles as he gets on his bike and motions for Lance to hop on behind him. 

“No. I like your plans sometimes.” Lance gets on and wraps his arms snugly around Keith’s waist. “But only sometimes.”

“That’s fair enough.” Keith starts up his bike and pulls out of the lot. 

* * *

Their date at the park was fun and sweet. They didn’t go to their usual place there which did catch Lance off guard. Keith was probably trying to avoid the place that was filled with too many emotions, which he can appreciate Keith for. They walk around the small track and Keith occasionally shows-off when it comes to the exercise equipment on the path. 

“You’re like a peacock.” Lance shakes his head with a laugh as he watches Keith do a set of pull-ups from the bar. 

“A peacock?” Keith asks. He hops down when he completes his rep.

“Yeah. Showing off your beautiful tail feathers, hoping it’ll woo me.” He takes Keith’s hand in his and walks along the path once again.

“Is that not what you were doing at The Blade the other night?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know, showing off your _feathers_.” 

“Okay, so maybe I figured if you were going to be seducing me, I should be seducing you back.”

“Oh, I see. Is it working then?”

“...Maybe.” Lance shakes his head with a small chuckle. 

* * *

They go on more and more little dates. Sometimes it’s a quick meeting at the Northend for coffee before Keith has to go to work or Lance back to his classes now that they’ve started back up again. They meet in the library a few times while Lance is trying his best to study. Keith is terribly distracting though it’s not wholly his fault, he _is_ just sitting there after all. Keith takes him to a few different movies and holds his hand in the dark.

Tonight was a combination of a few different things. They walked around the mall for a bit and Lance was more than happy to window shop with Keith. Then as the day grew old, Keith pulled him into a restaurant where they got dinner. Lance fought Keith to pay the bill for them both and Keith swore that if Lance bought dinner, he was going to get him back.

And getting Lance back meant they watched another movie on Lance’s ‘must-see’ list, Keith bought everything for them this time around. It had Lance pouting for a bit but he allowed himself to enjoy the show, head resting on Keith’s shoulder as they shared a popcorn tub. When it was time to go home, Keith took a more scenic route which Lance loved. 

Keith pulls into the driveway of Lance’s family home and walks him all the way up to his door. Lance has never wanted to kiss the man so badly, but he knows that it would be telling Keith he was ready to make things official. The only reason he’s hesitating is because he’s savoring this phase they’re in right now. So instead, he cups Keith’s jaw and presses his lips to his cheek.

“Good night, Keith,” Lance whispers. “Let me know when you get home.” He basks in the pride he feels when he sees Keith’s smile and blush over his cheeks. He shouldn’t tease him about it though, not when he himself isn’t faring any better after a warm forehead kiss in return. He feels giddy and his heart flutters in his chest. It’s like he’s back in high school, figuring out how dating worked for the first time and wondering if his crush had liked him back.

He wonders if it’s strange to feel such security with Keith. He’s not afraid of Keith leaving if he takes his sweet time. Sure he too desperately wants to kiss his lips already, but this is very fun. Keith has always been attentive in his own way. He makes sure Lance isn’t cold, that he’s eating and drinking plenty of water, heck he even makes sure Hunk and Pidge take breaks from their computers and that all of them check in mentally when anyone has been quiet for too long. 

He’s hard-working, strong, and brave. He’s gotten up from everything life has thrown at him and despite having an excuse to be angry, rough, and callous; Keith is sweet, kind, and caring. He’s simply amazing and Lance feels lucky to be loved by such a breathtaking man.

Lance thinks back to the last night he spent with Keith, to how gentle he was. How Keith had made him feel so loved and beautiful and wanted. He would love to spend another night like that, one that will allow him to hold Keith and kiss him the following morning. Maybe even kiss him awake and share breakfast. 

Whatever it is, make it a nicer memory than that of him leaving in his pajamas and a stolen jacket, hauling his broken heart to the nearest gas station to call Hunk.

* * *

It’s one of Keith’s days off and Lance is laying on his stomach in his room. He’s been chatting with Keith non-stop since last night after their dinner and movie date. However, there are more pauses in their conversations which has him curious.

> LoverBoy: so its your day off
> 
> Greñudo: It is.
> 
> LoverBoy: are you going to be spoiling me rotten with more movies
> 
> LoverBoy: maybe even ice cream
> 
> LoverBoy: all from the comfort of your home?
> 
> Greñudo: That’s very tempting.
> 
> LoverBoy: but?
> 
> Greñudo: I’m trying to clear out some more of the stuff in the shed.
> 
> LoverBoy: you move that stuff around a lot
> 
> Greñudo: Yeah. The house is kinda small so I move my clothes around in there. 
> 
> Greñudo: I need to put away my warmer clothes since the temp is getting hotter.
> 
> LoverBoy: oh yeah
> 
> LoverBoy: my family does that all the time too
> 
> Greñudo: Sometimes I can’t help but peek at my dad’s stuff when I do it though.
> 
> Greñudo: And there’s so much of it. I don’t know what to do with half of it.

Lance hums and taps his chin, formulating a plan. He gets up from the bed and starts to head out of his room and toward the living room.

> LoverBoy: well, i can swing by with lunch later if you’d like?
> 
> LoverBoy: i can also borrow my sister’s truck and i can help take anything to the donation center
> 
> Greñudo: I’d like that actually.
> 
> LoverBoy: sweet

Lance smiles and slides up to his sister’s side. She gives him a suspicious look and raises a brow.

“Yes?”

“You know how much you love me, right?” Lance bats his eyes up at her.

“What do you want, Lance?”

“Can I borrow your truck today?”

“How long?”

“From lunch to an unspecified time tonight.” He answers honestly. She clicks her tongue and thinks. Then a smile spreads over her lips.

“If you do the dishes.”

“Done.”

“For a week.”

“Te pasas! That’s too much!” Lance rests his hands on his hips.

“That’s my deal.”

“Ugh. Fine.” Lance groans and holds out his hand. “Deal.”

“Pleasure doing business with you hermanito.” She shakes his hand and then ruffles his hair. 

Only after he’s halfway to Keith’s place does he remember his family from out of town is coming down to stay with them for the next week. No wonder Raquel didn’t want to do the dishes. He sighs and shakes his head. 

He grabs lunch and pulls into Keith’s driveway, careful of his bike. He jogs up to the door and knocks. He can hear things being shuffled around inside before the door opens up. 

“Hey.” Lance smiles at him.

“Hey.” 

“Lunch?” He waves the takeout bag in his hands.

“That sounds _amazing_ right now.” Keith groans and lets Lance in. 

He gets to take in the sight of the absolute state of disarray the living room is in. There’s papers, clothes, sheets, books, everything tossed about on any horizontal surface available. He whistles and looks over at Keith.

“Did a little tornado sweep through here or something?”

“Definitely. A localized incident. Surprised you didn’t hear about it on the news.” Keith chuckles and waves for Lance to follow him to the kitchen. 

They eat in relative silence. Keith keeps glancing back at the mess he’d made of things and Lance knows it’s because he desperately wants to get back to the task at hand. He’s never been good at taking breaks after all. In fact the second they’re done with their meal Keith is getting up and making his way over to the stuff. 

“You know, the best way to take care of this is by category.” Lance hums as he surveys the mess. 

“Yeah, but…” Keith shrugs and gestures to the items. 

“Come on, let’s start simple.”

“Simple?”

“Let’s start with the sheets first.” Lance gestures to them. Keith nods in agreement and they start sorting through it. Lance gets piles of things going and helps Keith decide on what needs to go.

“Your dad must have really liked the color purple.” He jokes, lifting the fifth bedding set in a deep lilac color, completely identical to the other four. Keith chuckles and shakes his head. 

“You’d think, but it wasn’t his favorite.”

“Then?”

“He liked green.”

“What gives with the purple sheets?”

“No clue.” Keith hums. “I don’t need another set, we can give that one away.” Lance nods and folds it up, setting it in the donation pile. 

“Is this all the sheets?”

“I think so.”

“Clothes next, starting with shirts,” Lance tells him.

“Aye aye.” 

Shirts seem to be a bit harder for Keith. He lingers on some of them and others he tosses aside before glancing at them. Lance watches Keith trace the firefighter’s logo on one of them. 

“You wanna keep that one?” Lance gently prompts him. 

“I don’t know.” Keith looks at the shirts he’s surrounded by. Lance moves from where he’s sitting and plops down beside Keith. He rests his hand on his and kisses his shoulder. Keith sighs softly and looks over to him.

“When…” He starts but hesitates. 

“When?”

“When my mom… passed away, Dad told me he threw out all of her stuff.”

“All of it?”

“Yeah. Her clothes, her pictures, her perfumes.” Keith turns his attention back to the shirt in his hands. 

“Why?”

“Dunno.” He murmurs. “But he told me how much he regretted doing it.” Lance hums and starts to connect the dots. 

“You don’t want to regret it either.”

“Yeah. I guess… I guess it’s where it comes from. I don’t want to regret throwing something away and… not have it to remember him by. Not have something to show or tell my kids if they ask about him.” He rests his head on Lance’s shoulder. “I never knew my mom. Not her name, where she came from, or what she looked like. Dad wouldn’t talk about her often.” 

“Do you know where she’s…?”

“Buried? No. I know nothing. Hell, I could have fallen out of the sky or -- or been kidnapped. And I’ll never know.”

“Well, surely she’s at least listed on your birth certificate. You could always start there.” Lance nudges him. “Maybe then you can find her side of the family and meet them.”

“...Maybe.” He agrees and sets the shirt in the donation pile. 

“Yeah! And like, one of my cousins, he’s this private investigator y’know. He could probably find them like that.” Lance snaps his fingers and Keith gives him a sad smile.

“You think so?”

“Know so.” 

“And you’d do that for me?”

“Well, yeah. If that’s what you wanted.” He rubs the back of his neck. 

“I’ll see.” Keith picks up another shirt. This one has a child’s handwriting on it and he smiles fondly at it.

“You could also turn all the extra shirts you’re gonna keep of his into something.”

“Like what?” Keith hums, putting it in the keep pile. 

“Like a blanket. I know my brother did that for his best friend’s mom.”

“I could probably fit into a few of them now too.” He holds up another shirt, a band logo Lance doesn’t recognize on it. It does look like it’s his size and Lance nods in agreement.

“Definitely.” He snatches it and sets it in the keep pile before Keith can make a choice about it, causing him to laugh.

All of the pants end up in the donation pile, Keith simply being too big to fit into them. They toss a few of the more tattered items and Lance skims through the titles of the books, trying to think of anyone who’d want first dibs on them. Keith squirrels a few of them away and lets Lance move them to where they best go.

Keith talks about his dad, the things they’d do together, and some of their old jokes. Lance laughs along with him and shares stories of his own when they’re similar. Keith’s in good spirits as they move through the items. Lance reaches into one of the boxes and pulls out a binder and Keith falls silent. It’s an odd reaction and Lance has to assume this is something touchy for him. 

“It’s… his records,” Keith tells him.

“His records?”

“Of fires he and his squadron took care of.” 

“Oh cool.” Lance skims over the first entry in the binder. “Wow, that’s… detailed.”

“Yeah.” Keith nods and his hands hover near it. 

“You want to keep it?”

“I… don’t know.” 

“Well, you could most definitely write a memoir with this.” Lance hums and closes it. Keith seems conflicted about the binder.

“I could, but…” 

“But?”

“It’s… personal.” Keith finishes and Lance nods in understanding. He sets it in the keep pile for now and looks further into the box.

“Did you ever want to be a firefighter like your dad?”

“No.” 

“Not even a little bit?” Lance asks, looking at the medals and patches he pulls out. Keith takes them from his hands and sets them in the keep pile. 

“No. Especially not after…” He trails off grabbing the uniform jacket from the box.

“...Right. Sorry.” Lance frowns.

“It’s okay.” He shrugs and drapes the jacket over his couch close to the keep pile. “You can toss the rest of that, it’s just old papers.” He tells Lance and moves onto the next box. 

Lance glances curiously at the papers, shuffling a few of them around before nodding in agreement. He gathers some more of the other trash and places it in the box, covering them up. Keith is off for a few minutes but he eventually bounces back. Lance looks at their piles and back to him. 

“It’s getting late, and I should hit the donation center before it closes.” He tells Keith.

“Yeah. Let’s load this stuff up.” Keith agrees. He grabs one of the boxes and heads out for the truck. Lance grabs a box that contains stuff that he thought was interesting and stuff someone in his family would like. He sets it on his hip and looks back at the piles. 

“Keith’s gonna kill me…” He whispers to himself as he walks over to the keep pile. He wants to do something nice for Keith and have something for these things so they don’t go back to hiding in a box in Keith’s shed. 

He picks up the medals, the patches, the uniform jacket, and a photo of Mister Kogane himself. He tucks them all into his box and covers it all with the things he was already taking in the first place. He’s quick to get this out to the truck and set it on the passenger’s seat. Keith hops down from the truck and they race each other to fill the bed with most of the donation items. 

“I won.” Keith declares.

“Nu-uh I did.” Lance chuckles. Keith hums and pats the bed of the truck with a fond look. Lance nudges his shoulder.

“This is good.”

“Yeah.” Lance agrees. “Someone’s gonna love the heck out of this stuff.”

“Mmm.” Keith hums.

“Will you be okay?”

“Yeah. Think I’ll leave things as is and pack it all back up tomorrow.” He glances back at the house.

“I can come over and help you out with that too.” 

“Movies and ice cream when we’re done then?” Keith asks with a smirk.

“You know it.” Lance presses a kiss to Keith’s jaw. 

“Thanks again.”

“No problem.”

“No, I mean it. I’ve been holding onto some of this stuff for years and… it’s a weight being lifted off me y’know? It’s gonna be good for me.”

“Well, I got you.”

He wishes Keith a good night’s rest and promises to let him know when he gets home. Lance pulls out of the driveway and heads off to the donation center. He helps pass off the items to the workers and once he’s done he calls a friend of his.

“Hey, remember how I tutored you throughout Spanish last year? I have something you can do to repay the favor.” He says, looking at the box in the passenger seat. He works out the details and then makes his way to his second drop point. 

* * *

Keith hadn’t noticed the missing items during their repack of the keep piles. Lance thanks every star he can and happily sits on the couch, pressed against his side. A few movies later the tub of Benjary’s is devoured. Keith presses a kiss to Lance’s forehead and tosses the empty container away, grabbing the rest of the trash and taking it to the bin outside. 

Lance makes his way into the kitchen, eyeing the dirty dishes in the sink from their dinner earlier. He pushes his sleeves up and turns on the water. He feels Keith wrap his arms around his waist.

“What are you doing?” Keith asks him.

“I need to be a good guest.”

“You’re amazing as can be already, there’s no need to do any chores at my place, Lance.”

“But you can always like me more.” Lance points out. 

“Lance, I already love you.”

“How much _do_ you love me, huh?” Lance turns in his hold and looks him in the eye.

“Immensely. To the moon and back. Want me to fetch you a star? I’ll do it.” Keith says without missing a beat.

“No need, I already have my star right here.” Lance smiles and wraps his arms around Keith’s neck. 

“You’re right. The best ones are in your eyes.” Keith smirks and Lance feels his face burn. Lance sputters and he laughs heartily. 

“I love you too, Keith.” He says and Keith smiles at him. “I was such an idiot forcing myself to stay away from you. I hurt you by doing that. Can you forgive me?”

“I forgive you. Can you forgive me for not being honest with you or myself?” Keith asks in response.

“I forgive you.” Lance hums and rests his forehead against Keith’s.

“Lance?”

“Hmm?”

“I want to love you…”

“Do you want to love me or do you want to _make_ love to me?” Lance asks with a grin. Keith scoffs and looks away, trying to hide his quickly growing blush.

“I --”

“Ay si! All coy! As if you haven’t already rocked my world!” 

“Rocked your world, huh?” A smirk spreads out over Keith’s face again and Lance is the one who wants to hide his face in Keith’s neck. He tries to shuffle his way out of the kitchen to escape. Keith however pulls him up into his arms like a blushing bride.

“Hey! Let go!” He says as though he wasn’t clinging onto Keith.

“Nope, I’m not risking it this time,” Keith tells him. Lance hums and cups his cheeks. He kisses his lips and Keith melts into it along with him. 

Keith doesn’t get much farther before he’s pressing Lance against the wall as the two of them meld together. He kisses his lips, along his jaw, down his neck. Lance moans when he feels Keith’s teeth at the base of his neck and the sounds had Keith bucking against him. Lance chuckles softly when the man has to carefully set him back onto his feet. Lance hums and gives the front of Keith’s shirt a playful tug. Keith smiles and kisses Lance’s ear as he undoes the buttons on Lance’s shirt. 

Lance kisses Keith’s lips and gives them a nip before leading him toward his room. He chuckles when Keith wraps his arms around his waist and starts to undo the front of his pants. Lance however doesn’t stop moving. Instead, he turns around to do the same to Keith as the two leave a trail of their clothes to Keith’s bed.

* * *

When Lance wakes up in the morning, he smiles at Keith’s sleeping form. He presses a quick kiss to his cheek and gets up. He pulls on his pajama pants and quietly slips out to the car he borrowed from his dad yesterday. He opens the back seat and grabs the large, wrapped gift, closing the door with his hip. 

He’s carefully bringing it inside when he sees Keith darting from down the hall and freezing in the living room when he spots Lance. He presses his hand against his chest and lets out a shaky sigh, relief written all over his face. 

“Uh… good morning!” Lance smiles, not being able to hide the present in his arms. He takes in Keith’s very _naked_ appearance and sets it down on the couch.

“M-morning. I… For a moment I thought you -- you left.”

“And you thought chasing after me ass naked was going to be a good thing? Your poor neighbors would have had a heart attack, Keith.” He chuckles.

“I… uh.” Keith is bright red and Lance tosses him the pair of pants that had been discarded in the living room during their road to Keith's bedroom last night. “Thanks.”

“How did you figure I left?” Lance asks, stepping over to Keith and wrapping his arms around him.

“I felt you get out of bed and heard you walk down the ramp. Then um… heard the car door.” Keith looks away.

“Keith, no. I’m _so_ sorry about that. That wasn’t what I was going to do at all.” He cups Keith’s jaw in his hands. “I wanted to fetch you a gift. I had it made for you.” Lance gestures to the gift laying on the couch. Keith’s eyes flick from it back to Lance’s, searching him for any sign of insincerity.

“I um… hope this was alright. I just really wanted to do something nice.” Lance pulls him over to the couch where the gift sits. 

Lance plays with his hands and gives Keith a smile when he sees curiosity winning over in Keith’s expression. His intention was not to overstep and he knows he probably should have asked him first before taking this stuff. Lance just wanted it to be a surprise. Keith carefully starts to unwrap the item and recognizes it right away. 

“Lance…” He looks up at him and back to the gift, a tender smile on his face. 

His dad’s uniform jacket is carefully folded and placed in a shadow box, alongside his medals and patches. The picture he’d snagged of him sits proudly at the bottom of the box. Keith runs a gentle hand over the frame.

“This way it can be in sight but not, y’know, in the middle of the living room,” Lance tells him. 

“...Thank you,” Keith whispers. He picks it up and props it against one of the walls to be hung up later. Lance walks over to him and wraps his arms around his waist, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. 

“I’m glad you like it.”

“I do,” Keith looks at him. “It means a lot to me.” Lance kisses his cheek and the corner of his lips. 

“Let me take care of breakfast? Wanna cook up something special for my boyfriend.” Lance gives him a small squeeze.

“Boyfriend.” Keith smiles, all warm and gooey. 

They don’t get to breakfast right away, Keith eagerly tugging Lance back to his room for a round two. Lance definitely doesn’t mind. He’s finally happy and where he wants to be. In Keith’s arms in the daylight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for reading. It was an honor to have many of yalls follow me here from twitter to make sure my work was supported. I cannot thank you all enough. To all new readers of my work, hello! I am Cupcake. I hope to share many more ideas and works with you all on here. :D

**Author's Note:**

> AAAA I hope you enjoyed my first fic by mi self. Hope you continue to enjoy the rest of the work! Please feel free to come scream or squeal at me in the comments! Thank you for reading!


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